he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
