Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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