Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
