I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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