i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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