im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
