It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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