He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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