you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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