I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
