you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
