Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
