Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
