Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
