how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
