i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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