Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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