Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
