okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
