I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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