Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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