the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
