he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
