apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
