He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
