We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
home. puking in laundry basket.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
