our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
