Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
