so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
