i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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