butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
