hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
