Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
