Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
These tits shall not be calmed
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