what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is wine microwaveable?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
