He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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