You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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