i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My bed smells like the plague
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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