Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
