I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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