Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
