I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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