I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
