dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
