I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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