Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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