Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
