I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
