My nipple is on Facebook.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
