We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You've changed since you got that strap on
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
