I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
