Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
