MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
