I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
